Monday, May 17, 2010

mayoral wager

Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa to Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon (who is also against Arizona's new immigration law), prior to the start of the NBA Western Conference Championship Series between the Lakers and the Suns:

Mayor Gordon:
Our cities have more in common than the pursuit of a championship. We both recognize the contributions our immigrant communities have made: Los Angeles is internationally recognized for its multicultural history, and Phoenix is internationally recognized for its two-time Most Valuable Player, Steve Nash, who happens to hail from Canada.
The Suns have managed to best our Lakers in their last two meetings, but since your new immigration policy is set to kick in soon, we look forward to welcoming Steve to our team the next time he forgets to carry his passport with him. I’m sure he will fit in quite nicely as we pursue our 31st Conference Title.
In all seriousness, I do want to applaud “Los Suns” for standing up for the American values we all cherish, no matter where our families came from, no matter when they came to this great country. Nothing brings a city together like an NBA championship, although in this case, I guess you’ll just have to take our word for it.
Our wager:
Should the Suns prevail, we will humbly accept ownership of “American’s Toughest Sheriff,” Joe Arpaio, Sheriff of Maricopa County. Perhaps a stint in Los Angeles would teach him that you cannot deduce immigration status simply by looking at a person.
Should the Lakers be victorious, we will deliver to you both Steve Poizner and Meg Whitman, Republican candidates for Governor of California, currently battling for supremacy on the issue of illegal immigration. Perhaps some time in Arizona would show them both that being governor isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.
Additionally, should the Lakers ultimately win, we will send a group of students to Dodger Stadium to behold the other great sports franchise in Los Angeles. Similarly, should the Suns best the Lakers, we call on Phoenix to treat a group of students to cheer on the Diamondbacks.
Good luck and go Lakers!
Very truly yours,

No comments: