Simmons

So what if ESPN's Bill Simmons gets it right less than half the time? As a sports writer, Simmons is a baller. He's like a gym rat down at the IM building (pick your campus). Always there, always bringing it. Over-doing it, but with style. Playing for the love of the game.

Here's Simmons, the Celtics/Red Sox/Patriots fan, hatin' on the Chicago Bulls' Yoakim Noah:

I hate Joakim Noah. I hate looking at him. I hate his hair. I hate how he dunks. I hate the way he high-fives. I hate every reaction he has. I hate his game. I hate the way announcers pronounce his name. I hate the story that I've heard a million times about his tennis-playing father. I want the Celtics to win for a variety of reasons, but one of them is because it means Joakim Noah would lose. I want him to cry when it's over. And we are only two games in. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel about him by Game 5. He's like a cross between Bill Laimbeer, Marcus Camby and Lisa Bonet.

That last line is classic Simmons...

To get Simmons in full-effect, check out "Celtics-Bulls is one for the ages."